fake news, hardwood, satire

Steve Francis asks Yao Ming to repair roof

Steve Francis broke his ceiling and reports are saying he called former teammate Yao Ming to help repair it. Yao, 37, is on a temporary break from adjusting weather patterns. He is currently repairing the ceiling. This comes on the same day where a small atomic bomb was tested in Florida, mildly injuring seven.

Francis says he had a party while this minuscule incident took place and makes it clear he is not part of the culprit.

“We were standing on the roof of my house and one of my buddies kept jumping around until he landed through my house,” Francis said.

Francis has been retired from the game since 2010 when he last played for Beijing.  Nowadays, he alternates his time between China and Florida, attending various functions from weddings to coaching children’s basketball.

“Ever since retirement it’s been one party to the next,” Francis said. “I am content with being a socialite.” He said as he sipped on a tall glass.

“People assume that I sit around and do nothing all day”, says the 3-time all-star. “But I’m always moving around and I do it all as a volunteer.”

Yao Ming is on stage two of rebuilding Francis’ ceiling.

“The second stage is all about getting the right materials and following through,” Yao said.

When asked what he was doing while the incident happened, Yao said he was on his way from the bathroom.

“It was very strange,” he said. “After I saw Steve’s [Francis] broken ceiling, he ran around the room asking if there was anyone with roofing experience, I was the only one that did but I am happy to oblige.”

Yao works for J&K Roofing and thought this was a great opportunity to expand his brand. Francis and Yao were teammates with the Rockets from 2002-2004,  the two remain close friends to this day.

If you need J&K Roofing to fix any of your roofing needs, call up Yao and the crew at (281) 555-7168 or email Yao Ming himself: yao@jkroofing.net

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