fake news, hardwood, satire

Russell Westbrook Upset from not getting free groceries

Russell Westbrook is reportedly upset from not getting free groceries at a local OKC Target Superstore this past Wednesday afternoon. Janine McInshire says a coupon Westbrook used was already expired.

“His coupon expired at the beginning of this season,” says the manager at the superstore. “We gave him that coupon for free to celebrate his MVP season.”

Westbrook wasn’t impressed, as he believes he should receive free groceries for being one of the longest-tenured members of the Thunder and the second MVP in franchise history.

“It’s not something I’ll lose sleep over, I’ll pay for this one but that’s not to say I won’t take it to [the] court,” the star point guard said.

Westbrook tried to walk out of the superstore with $205 worth of groceries and even the President of the United States called him out via Twitter.

The tweet read: RUSSELL WESTBROOK SHOULD NOT HAVE DONE THAT! He knows the rules! Does this F***Face need to be taught another lesson?”

Westbrook walked out with bags of groceries until security tackled him at the parking lot, security also forced Westbrook’s credit card out of his pocket.  Luckily, Westbrook was wearing pillows under his clothes to preserve injury.

“It’s the new way to protect your body off the court,” Westbrook said. “PG told me about [the epidemic] and Melo walks around in an inflatable walking ball.”

Westbrook is only obligated to complete 300 hours of community service due in June 2018 and pay a $65 fine for the inconvenience. But his focus is now on tonight’s premier matchup against the San Antonio Spurs.  Westbrook is coming off a 13-point win over the Chicago Bulls, where he scored 21 points, dished out seven assists and picked up five rebounds.  In the year of 2017, Westbrook averages 29.5 points, 13.0 assists, and 10.5 rebounds against the Spurs.  He also averages seven turnovers against them.  Let’s see if this minor inconvenience is really that when they tipoff at 7PM CST.

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