fake news, hardwood, satire

Andre Drummond Dislikes New Stadium Name

Andre Drummond is off to a hot start but has one issue with the Pistons organization; the new stadium name.

Drummond is not a fan of “Little Caesars Arena” and part of that has to do with the pizza associated with the new arena, he told the press after the Pistons 108-99 win over the Sacramento Kings.

“I love the new stadium, the lights, the architecture, even the bathrooms are great,” Drummond said.

Rumors circulating around Detroit report that Drummond prefers “Square Pizza Arena”, a staple of Detroit food.

“It’s true,” Drummond confirmed. “We literally play in a square building and it makes so much sense since it’s part of Detroit’s history. It’s too bad corporations are monopolizing our stadium names.”

Stan Van Gundy isn’t thrilled about Drummond’s comments to the media.

“I mean, as long as we keep racking up wins to keep us in front of the Eastern Conference,” Van Gundy said. “No distractions, our goal is to make it back to the playoffs.”

Reggie Jackson, the starting point guard for the Pistons, agree with both Van Gundy and Drummond.

“On one hand, this is a great stadium with a terrible name,” Jackson said. “On the other hand, this is a trivial issue and we’re just looking to win the first Pistons playoff game since 2008.”

We asked a spokesperson from Little Caesars about what they think of this situation and they released this statement.

“We appreciate Andre’s comments regarding the stadium name situation, in fact, we are looking in another direction so we can officially change our name to ‘Square Pizza’. We look forward to the Pistons rest of the season as we too hope they can make it back to the NBA playoffs.”

Drummond still goes back to the site of The Palace of Auburn Hills to relive memories.

“Yeah, I guess I go back there to relive stuff if you wanna call it that,” Drummond says.  “It’s also a great place to meet up with hot singles. That helped me with my free throw form too.”

The Pistons are 7-3 through the first ten games of the season and Drummond is shooting 75% from the free throw line.  The Pistons next game is on Wednesday, November 8 against the Indiana Pacers. Expect Drummond to have a big season with the Pistons this year, let’s see if Little Caesars actually goes through a name change to keep Drummond in Detroit.

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